While browsing through the 7 year old archives of Geeknews I stumbled on this oldy but goody from June 2000. Here’s a snippet and re-posting just because it’s so good:
Topeka, KS – High school sophomore Brett Tyson was suspended today after teachers learned he may be using PHP.
“A teacher overheard him say that he was using PHP, and as part of our Zero-Tolerance policy against drug use, he was immediately suspended. No questions asked,” said Principal Clyde Thurlow. “We’re not quite sure what PHP is, but we suspect it may be a derivative of PCP, or maybe a new designer drug like GHB.”
Parents are frightened by the discovery of this new menace in their children’s school, and are demanding the school do something.
Interviews with students suggested that PHP use is wide spread around the school, but is particularly concentrated in the geeky nerd population. When contacted by BBspot.com, Brett Tyson said, “I don’t know what the hell is going on dude, but this suspension gives me more time for fraggin’. Yee haw!”
Link to the (tongue in cheek) BBSpot article.